March 2012

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bronze: Johnny Depp, as usual
silver: Chloe Sevigny
gold: Mariah Carey, if they let her in

Bronze: Tom Hanks. I'm quietly hoping for a Nancy Kerrigan incident. Anyone else sick of Tom Hanks?

Silver: Scarlett Johansson. Crossing my fingers for a "wardrobe malfunction."

Gold: Harrison Ford. Here's hoping the once fine actor continues his streak of drunken award show appearances and this time says something ridiculous, trips, cops a feel off his fellow presenter or maybe voms the 30 cocktails he's downed in the last 20 minutes.

UPDATE: So I just read that apparently Mammary Johansson won't be attending the Oscars this year. As such, I change my gold...to Diane Keaton.

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