Dear Inter-net,
Recently, I watched a film so unbelievably horrid that I stunned even myself by finishing it. In fact, the movie might actually give my #1 "Most Ridiculous/Worst Ever" (A Walk in the Clouds) a run for the money.
I realize that I'm probably one of the only people in North America who would Netflix 2004's "The Phantom of the Opera " with a straight, even eager, face. So, what made this cinematic attempt truly disastrous...the laughable choreography? Minnie Driver playing the diva with a misguided and not-at-all comedic Italian accent? The horribly cheap looking special effects throughout the movie (gold painted hands coming of of holes in a dungeon wall holding candelabras, anyone?)...or the fact that Emily "Fishface" Rossum only closed her mouth for a total of about 4 minutes throughout the whole 2 hour fiasco?
Did I mention that all the actors did their own vocals? Why yes, yes they did.
On the positive side, the Phantom was actually sort of hot in his partial face covering. We all know that I'm attracted to emotionally unavailable men, and this one was wearing an actual mask as opposed to the invisible one I usually encounter. But lordy, by the end, I was wishing someone would drop a chandelier on me.
Luckily, Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey will be coming to my romantic movie rescue soon enough with Enchanted.
That's right my friends; I dabbled in the dark side of big budget movie-making and nearly came back a ruined woman.
(exhaling,)
Blogorelli
this is why we're friends BG! I totally had that Phantom movie on my dvr for a night when the Hungarian wasn't around! Good thing I deleted it for extra space!
can't think of the worst movie I've ever seen though...maybe Striptease??? or that other stripper movie with Jessie from Saved by the Bell. those were both pretty horrid.
OH! and that terrible Leelee Sobieski movie--the one with that guy from American Pie. That sucked big ones too!
this is fun...I think you could have a meme dedicated to our top 5 most horrid movies ever!!!
Posted by: the polish princess | Friday, 18 August 2006 at 10:35 AM
No way it's worse than A Walk in Cloud of Truly Horrific Filmmaking. Keanu 'One Note' Reeves should have gotten the chair for that cow patty.
Posted by: General Disarray | Thursday, 17 August 2006 at 10:01 AM
secretly (shh, internets, don't tell!) my roommate and I recently watched Jersey Girl...on TV. With Commercials. Bad. Fairly textbook as far as movies go too - I even called the slow clap about 10 minutes before it happened.
Posted by: petey | Thursday, 17 August 2006 at 09:16 AM