The Special Feathered Eclair No-No Place?

There are so many disturbing phrases in this morning's Daily Candy Everywhere that I couldn't pick just one or two on which to comment. As such, I've pasted the item below and highlighted those things which most shake my secret prudish sensabilities to the core:

DailyCandy - The Coloring Box
"Time to refurbish your special no-no place with a jazzy fall color: Put your triangle’s tresses in the capable hands of Betty, the first dye created especially for your down-there hair. The easy-to-use formula is safe enough for your sensitive lady place. And if your orchid is wilting, fear not — Betty easily covers grays.

Decorate your fuzzy éclair with a variety of icings, like subtle auburn, blonde, brown, and black. Not enough options (or unsettling euphemisms) for ya? [BLOGORELLI INTERJECTS: "YES!!! Women's no-no places everywhere are begging you, STOP!"] Feather your nest with FunBetty, an oh-no-she-didn’t pink. The dripless formula guarantees that no dye will sully your pee-pee’s teepee, and your new plumage is more than certain to attract plenty of male attention.

So go on and wash that man right into your hair.
Available  at BettyBeauty.com"

AAACK!

(Below, words which now, like the aborred "panties," will cause me to recoil in disgust: "nest," "tee pee," "eclair")

Comments

[the polish princess]

gross.

[a classic girl]

Mein Gott in Himmel!

That is as bad as the sketch commercial from SNL: "Woomba: It cleans my business, my lady business. And I like it" and "Woomba: the little robot that cleans your noony."

AHHHHHHHrgh!

[petey]

oh bettyorelly..."Per sotto, per farli combaciare," it's inspired from Italy (yeah, I went to the site). My question is - who made the PR pitch to DailyCandy? Do you dial them up and be all "yo, i've got this product..." Bet they say panties all the time.