Down on Being Down & Out

This confession is a long time coming, but here goes: I'm not doing so well lately.

For the past six months, I feel like I've gone into a downslide and the results are weighing on me in every way, like some kind of uncomfortably wet wool blanket. My physical appearance could use some improving, I feel disconnected in my relationships, numb emotionally, and I've started doubting basically every aspect of my life: my work, my self image, miscellaneous decisions, this blog, etc.

The buck stops here. I'm so tired of being, well, tired. I don't want to feel frustrated every day and angry inside at everyone for no reason. Being disgusted with yourself is exhausting. I just want to feel and be happy (or at least happier?) So I need to start a new regime, and I'm declaring its birth in the only public forum I've got -- this blog.

BLOGORELLI'S NEUE SACHLICHKEIT

Agenda Item, #1: Eat healthier and start a consistent exercise routine
I've realized that I just don't love to work out (at least, not unless said fitness is Zumba dance.) However, unless I'm going to some back street plastic surgeon in the near future, The Intertube (my nickname for my excess chub, formerly referred to "The Turtle" when said fat was only parked near my abdomen) is not going to magically disappear. Besides, how am I ever going to look like Tracy Anderson if I don't move that thang?

She looks self confident and sassy, yes?

Agenda Item, #2: Really work on starting my (online) store selling vintage goods
Just to give myself a little credit, I have sold some of my "treasures" on Etsy, but I need to get truly inspired by the ingenuity of sites like Shopsin's General Store and DO IT already...especially since the marketplace is getting fuller.

Bacon scarf! Bacon scarf! Bacon scarf!

Agenda Item, #3: Work on my Life List
(in both the listing and doing sense) and concentrate on the aspects of my life which should make me feel good, not bad.

Agenda Item, #4: Plan my 30th birthday trip
Since The Prof is starting a new job come October 1 (although we'll keep his title here as The Prof and not The Producer, which he will indeed be), he can't take any vacation days until at least Christmas. I want to celebrate turning the big 3-0! So, I've decided to take a week of travel to reflect and commemorate, um, me.

Here's where I need some help: anyone have a good suggestion as to where a gal on the go alone might vacation? I'm totally open, but I'd like the place to be fairly public transit friendly and not super duper expensive.

Rockapella isn't coming along for the ride.

(Exhale.) I do feel better having come clean to the Inter-net about why perhaps I haven't seemed as *razzle dazzle* as usual. I'm finally ready to brace myself and lunge forward, however awkward that might feel. If there's one thing I've learned after all these years, it's that, irritatingly, a person has to make things happen in this big life:

Muriel : "When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen."

Wish me luck.

Comments

[yannick]

You rock my mornings for a couple of years. There is a place for you here, in Switzerland. A bit too far, maybe, but still a guaranteed quietness !

[Jenn]

I think you would love Toronto, super easy to get there from Boston and lots of neat places to see - especially Queen Street which has a ton of antique and design stores. For my 30th, I was heading to Amsterdam via Toronto, and unexpectedly had a 24hr delay there - it was a lot of fun. I treated myself to awesome french toast for breakfast at the Drake Hotel.

[a classic girl]

I've been where you are where things pile up on you and it doesn't matter how great your family, friends, mate are. I had to get outside help. Having said that, I got bored of talking about myself right away, but it does help. Keep it as an option, esp after losing your Nona like that.

I think you should go to someplace close, but far enough away, where a loved one can sneak in and visit and then sneak out. Someplace that is a feast for the eyes, peaceful and comfortable. Either go leaf peeping in NH or VT or go back to that HOT Belle Mer.

You'll figure it all out, just be patient with yourself.

[Lil Kim]

Rock the house Blogorelli!

For a great birthday get-away, what about Vancouver, Chicago, Portland (OR) or Savannah (GA)?

[the polish princess]

Good luck to you on these exciting endeavors! And don't forget your small victories! These goals will take time to accomplish, so it's important to congratulate yourself for each step you make towards thoses goals (like putting up this post for example) along the way.

As for vaca ideas, I'll have to get back to you as I haven't been travelling much lately. Although my sis said Australia and New Zealand were incredible! (Guess that doesn't really fit the affordable parameter though.)