b l o g o r e l l i

When Trees Go Wild

You buy a car, give it a name, put it out in this big world and hope it behaves on the playground with the other kids. But sometimes...

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FROM: The Mad Hungarian
15 November 2006

"For those of you who don't know...the Rock Lobster (the Mazda) was involved in a little altercation with an angry conifer while visiting the great state of Michigan (I guess they really don't like the imports up there, even if it is a cousin of Ford.) Rock Lobster never saw it coming, it was just sitting there admiring the falling snow (having not seen it for close to a year and having recently donned it's snow boots for the winter) just waiting for the chance to frolic in the snow covered streets of Traverse City. Then -- WHAM! -- for no apparent reason, the bully of a pine tree next to it throws down a branch, causing serious trauma to the head. Rock Lobster never had a chance. Those youthful dreams of playing joyfully in the Winter Wonderland of Northern Michigan, while temporarily crushed by a 12' brach, can still be realized, however, once The Polish Princess and I return to Traverse City to to pick up Rock Lobster in two weeks. Or more. Depending on when they get a new roof in...

Which is being shipped via train.
With a holiday thrown in there.

At least they gave us a Chevy Malibu to get our mind off of snow and falling tree branches."

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YEA, kids! You look on the bright side while cruising the 'Nati in that fine, fine Malibu rental. And don't worry -- I know Rock Lobster will be back soon, all shiny-new looking, and ready to give as good as he got. The trees lining the street out of Traverse City better watch their backs!

In another note, I often ask myself why I pay for comprehensive auto insurance. Now, I've received my divine answer.

Gay Animals? Fine. But in Pink Fleece Scarves? Flaming, Girlfriend!

I have yet to see Body Worlds 2, the exhibit of bodies that have been preserve through the Plastination process, at the Museum of Sciencen here in Boston. However, another science-y show is gaining some buzz around the world -- "Against Nature," at the The Oslo Natural History Museum.

The exhibit is gaining attention because it focuses on bisexuality and homosexuality "observed among 1,500 species." The exhibition includes photographs of one male giraffe mounting another, of apes stimulating others of the same sex, and two aroused male right whales rubbing against each other. In that freeing Scandinavian way that makes Fundamentalist ministers' heads smoke (hee hee), the Museum claims in a press release that "We hope to reject the all too well known argument that homosexual behaviour is a crime against nature" and show that "Homosexuality is a common and widespread phenomenon in the animal world."

A Lutheran priest said he hoped the organisers would "burn in hell," and a Pentecostal priest lashed out at the exhibition, saying taxpayers' money used for it would have been better spent helping the animals correct "their perversions and deviances". HA! Right, buddy...let's put the wild animals in a 'social therapy' program.

You go, Norwegians. Free your minds (and ours, too.) But seriously... that publicity still of the pink fleece scarves on King Penguins? So 2001. AND totally gay.

Squirt(er)s

I got so excited when P. Natty sent this video link  and I realized that my rarely-utilized "Science" category would finally see the light of blog.

No one who drinks Diet Coke would likely think to mix it with the ultra- sugary Canadian treat Mentos ("The Freshmaker") because, obviously, the two are at cross-purpose. But if one did mix the two, the results are "…a hysterical and spectacular mint-powered version of the Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas, brought to you by the mad scientists at EepyBird.com."

What did Mom used to say about not eating Pop Rocks while drinking something carbonated?

but not a sip to drink

starting out the day with a crisis always ensues that the rest will run smoothly, i think...or at least that's what I was telling myself this morning at 9:07am as I stood in the office kitchen whilst gallons of pure, fresh, brand new H2O gushed out the top of the water cooler, over my feet and across the hardwood floor like tropical storm Gaston. actually, I think the cooler was both overflowing and leaking from the bottom simultaneously, but the only certain thing was A LOT of water, unexpectedly and quickly.

which sort of reminded me of an article cho sent a bit ago on rogue waves, a phenomenon once considered "nautical legend" but now documented by The WaveAtlas project's ERS satellites. The waves can reach 30+ metres (that's 98 feet to us Americans) and are thought to have sunk more than 200 ocean tankers in the last 20 years. Look! Even PBS believes in them!

if mere natural science is not enough to intrigue you, Rogue Wave are also a band with some good buzz following their recent release on SubPop records. you can buy their cd at the iTunes store, or just give a listen...but they're in good company, with the "Listeners Also Bought" category filled by Death Cab for Cutie, Kings of Convenience, and Badly Drawn Boy.

finally, to complete the perfect trinity that is this nautical-themed post, see the trailer up for the new Wes Anderson project, The Life Aquatic, set to release around Xmas 04

up, up, and awaaaaay

as if the pompously rich need another thing to squander their money on, NASA has announced that it is moving forward on plans to build a Space Elevator. No, you read correctly.

Currently, it costs $10,000 per pound to put anything into space, which makes you wonder why JLo and Ben even bothered to plan a wedding on Earth. Glass dancefloor above a pool...how about a glass dancefloor above the atmosphere?!?

But, the main problem with building an "elevator" that goes 22,300 miles above the Equator (which will be kind of like a that elevator from the end of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory) is materials. If, say, a DIYer would try to jimmy a space elevator up in his/her backyard,
he/she would need:

* An extremely tall base tower on Earth
* A heavy weight orbiting the Earth
* A cable that connects the tower to the weight
* A spacecraft that can ride the cable into orbit

For a more scientific explanation, look
here

If you can't wait the 10-20 years for NASA to complete the project, at least your hamster can travel the solar system Jetson-style with the innovative Habitrail line. I saw these while persuing Petco for some catnip spray last night.
They even have a mascot, Herbie (the hamster, duh). Now, I've never in the least bit yearned for a pet hamster, but if I did, I would certainly want him to take a little ride in the Moon Racer or eat in the Space Restaurant. My favorite is the Space Observatory -- who knew a little illustrated hamster could throw his paws up and look so gleeful?

same blog, different day

reasons today kinda s-s-sucks:

- it's the last "official" day of summer
- i had to file a fraud report on my credit card
- flat hair is bad hair
- my friend frank starts his chemo treatments

the last of which would, you think, make me grateful to be healthy enough to complain.
alas, even that cannot lift my case of "the Mondays"
grrrr...

in other news, "Oldest genital fossils found in Scotland"
discuss amongst yourselves.