Should Blogorelli buy an iPad2 tomorrow?
(please vote in the Comments section)
• YES
I will legitimize her impulsive purchase
• NO
The iPad3 will be out in nine months
March 2012
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© 2003-2011 BLOGORELLI
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blogorelli.com by christi gorelli is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Web/Tech
PROJECT 365: DAY 327
An experiment with the Polarize app on my iPhone
I Believe the Hype: iPhone 4
Wow, I feel so looped out that I didn't even realize the WWDC keynote took place today: Steve Jobs introduces iPhone 4: "The Biggest Thing to Happen to iPhone Since iPhone." (huh?)
The new phone runs on iOS 4 (no "phone" in the name, just like the company is now called simply "Apple" sans "Computer.") Over 100 new features, including:
- thinnest iPhone yet, more square-shaped, 24% thinner and with a steel frame that acts as an antenna, glass face
- Retina display shows 326 pixels per inch (so much clearer for reading)
- 5 megapixel camera with 5x digital zoom, LED flash, front-facing camera, and the ability to record HD video
- longer battery life (7 hours talk, 6 hours 3G browsing, 10 hours wi-fi browsing, 40 hours of music
Turthfully, the new iPhone looks amazing...I might have to get one once I'm eligible for an upgrade. However, the big question remains: will the iPhone remain an AT&T exclusive device? Because, despite all the great newness of iPhone 4, I don't know if I can commit to two more years of craptastic reception.
iPhone 4: $199 16GB / $299 32GB / $99 for iPhone 3GS
iPad-orelli
now on a tablet near you...
Letterheady
I love it when people decide to focus very specifically on an aspect of design, and run with it...like Letterheady, a site that showcases "Interesting Letterhead Design." I could (and well, did) spend an hour looking at all the samples of mostly celebrated people's private stationery. I can't help being a bit sad, though, that written notes (and the need for stationery in general) are the exception and no longer the rule in our contemporary electronic correspondence society.
Miiiiiilk Tooof!
Larde and ickle and are milk (baby) teeth. Or teef. They go on adventures (and are soon to be the stars of a Chronicle Book publication) courtesy of artist Inhae Renee Lee, who molds the molars out of polymer, paints them, and photographs their antics...
(thx to A Classic Girl, who somehow manages to maximize her tiny amount of free time as a new mother of two and find amazing links for me)
A little Gaga for your Ooh-la-la
Know how iTunes charges to make a ringtone from songs you already own and it's totally irritating? Now, use Audiko to make ringtones from your music library. The interface is super easy and you can pick which 30 seconds of the song to isolate and then save the mp3 directly to your desktop/iTunes.
(thx to Murf for the link)
Na'vi-orellis
As a belated Valentine's Day/actual President's Day outing, The Prof and I finally saw Avatar in 3D. I thought the movie was well done, unlike the parenting job of the couple who let their vocal baby be loud and crawl on the theater's floor for the entire 2.5 hour movie. The management gave us passes to another 3D feature, so we'll be seeing Alice in Wonderland sometime soon.
Of course, there's a site (sponsored by McDonalds Europe) where you can Na'vi-ize yourself (warning -- pick a good, forward-looking photo.) Here are The Prof and I...what happened to our right eyes in the translation, I wonder?
(Blogorelli, Happy/left and Angry/right)
(The Prof, Happy/left and Angry/right)
Like Googling yourself, but Prettier
"Personas is a component of the Metropath(ologies) exhibit, currently on display until Sept 09 at the MIT Museum by the Sociable Media Group from the MIT Media Lab (Please contact us if you want to show it next!). It uses sophisticated natural language processing and the Internet to create a data portrait of one's aggregated online identity. In short, Personas shows you how the Internet sees you.
Enter your name, and Personas scours the web for information and attempts to characterize the person - to fit them to a predetermined set of categories that an algorithmic process created from a massive corpus of data. The computational process is visualized with each stage of the analysis, finally resulting in the presentation of a seemingly authoritative personal profile."
All I want to know is, how did so much SPORTS get into Blogorelli's persona?!?
BLOGORELLI:
ME-ORELLI:
Go on, give it a try -- addictive!
Make Me Babies
First comes love, then comes marrige, then comes Make Me Babies with virtual offspring in an html carriage. Huh?
Even though The Prof's mom reminded us that the correct order is "marriage, then babies" (no worries there, Mrs. Murf,) I still couldn't help getting sucked into the weird site Make Me Babies. Ever wonder what your child with a partner, friend, or "HOT celeb" might look like? The answer, like so many others in this big big world, is simply accessible online.
"MakeMeBabies' unique technology will show you exactly (well... almost exactly...) what your future child with another person will look like! We take both your photos, do some magic calculations, and congratulations! You have a new baby!"
If only the process of having an actual baby seemed so easy! Once I found the site, I became so curious that I made not one, but FIVE examples of what Mark and I's future children might look like "exactly (well...almost exactly." I am lukewarm on the results:
I guess all the, erm, kids look similar...but why do they have such big foreheads? Personally, I like the little dark haired snorkeler the best, although I suppose that I shouldn't play favorites... And I just plain don't trust #3 (girl with the flower crown.) Mark said just seeing all of our virtural children freaked him out a bit, and made me promise not to "make" any more babies.
Clearly, I needed a control group for testing. So I decided to use a pair that had produced a known entity old enough to compare to the MMB results...Cho and Bobby. Here, their actual offspring (with Auntie Em):
Here, their Make Me Babies (how much do I love that the first one is dressed up like a bird?):
In conclusion, I am highly skeptical of the MMB results, which makes me feel better about only having an 'eh' reaction to our possible brood. On the other hand, I'm glad to know that our odd, snorkel-loving son will have another of his kind for playdates!
In the (Camera)Bag
I've actually done very little exploring in the iPhone App Store since its launch. Finally, a reason to visit and buy: CameraBag from Nevecenter "turns your phone into a vintage camera." Neato!
The app offers five photo styles:
Helga - toy camera feel
1974 - faded, tinted
Lolo - vibrant, colorful
Cinema - widescreen
1962 - black & white, photo journalistic feel
Ansel - smooth gradients from dark to light
Infared - bright, crisp center fades to rounded edges
After taking the photo, open CameraBag, choose a style, and be surprised by the results (like the originals they mimic, these filters can produce unpredictable images.) A perfect app, in my humble tech opinion: useful, fun, and using the mobile phone's lower resolution camera to your advantage.
Buy the app now for $2.99 (on sale,) or wait a few weeks and get the newest version -- complete with fish eye lens and custom crop options.
Wordle
A new online novelty, Wordle.
"Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes. The images you create with Wordle are yours to use however you like. You can print them out, or save them to the Wordle gallery to share with your friends."
Here's the one I made for Blogorelli, although I did basically no tweaking to specialize font, color, etc. Wordle has some much more attractive examples in its gallery.
Commuter Rail Connect: Initiate Contact
Perhaps to offset paying almost double the cost for a monthly pass and enduring the MBTA's Mussolini-esque "If you see something, say something" campaign, the T is throwing commuter rail riders a bone by testing a free Wi-Fi on the Worcester/Framingham line. Luckily, due to train car swaps (totally my assumption,) sometimes the Needham Heights line, which I ride, has WiFi.
I only found minor mentions of the program online in my research, so I thought I'd post a quick Q&A based on my experiences.
Do users have to sign in or click a service agreement?
I've seen both...sometimes the computer just connects to the network, other times an intermittent screen comes up when the browser is launched.
How is network performance?
The maybe five times I've used CRC (Commuter Rail Connect,) the stability of the network has varied. The main issue is that I have to quit my browser and restart so that the CRC (or my laptop?) realizes that I'm a user. A few times, the connection has dropped, and a few times I couldn't connect at all.
Does it totally rule to be able to surf the Inter-net during dull train time that might otherwise be used for reading or sleeping?
Yes, yes it does.
Apple Store Boston "Systems Go"
Beantowners, rejoice! Today, the new Boston Apple store on Boylston Street -- officially the largest in the country (beating out NYC) -- is open for business. I predict a clusterfuck of techie geeks and Newbury Street tourists will clog the sidewalk all the way back to Mass Ave.
(photo from Gizmodo)
iGreen Monster
Playing almost cruelly on Bostonians' largest shared weakness, the new (under construction) Apple store on Boylston street has put up a teaser façade that looks like looks like Fenway's Green Monster...
In other news from AppleInsider:
"Beginning this week, Mac Geniuses will be referred to as simply 'Geniuses,' Mac Specialist will similarly become 'Specialists,' and Business Consultants will be renamed 'Business Partners.'
In a move also aimed at better distinguishing the roles of each staffer, employee clothing will see the following changes: Specialists will now wear light blue t-shirts once worn by Concierges, who will now wear bright orange.
At the same time, Business Partners will reportedly take on a more professional appearance with dark blue, buttoned-down shirts with "Business" embroidered on the sleeve next to the Apple logo. Genius and Creative employees will continue to wear dark blue, while back-of-house staff will be clad in black."
Oh, puh-lease.
Luckily, most customers will remain lame ironic hipsters, or clueless middle-agers with paunches trying to get photos off their iPhones, like the one I was behind at the "Genius" (ahem) Bar earlier this week.
Just Another Twit(ter)
Even though I swore not adopt any more techie addictions besides
- this blog
- Wündercabinet
- working on building an independent WC using a great backend solution that I recently discovered and
- my general, aimless, and completely time-consuming web surfing
I fell into another online addiction today. Much like heroine junkies say, the first time was just.so.easy...and I kept going back for more.
I read about Twitter a year ago on kottke.org. At the time, I thought the whole thing sounded like a big bunch of wasteful nonsense. Did I need more white noise in my e-day besides spam and emails from MLB and the Red Sox Nation (courtesy of The Prof entering all of my email addresses in every Red Sox ticket lottery known to the Northeast)?
But on blogs that I browse, more and more have Twitter links. Aware that I am far from the crest, but unwilling to miss the wave, I signed up:
Now, does anyone really care that my boss' daughter got a damn-near perfect score on her SATs or that The Prof and I's Mexican-themed date night ended in a body shot contest -- off BKP? Probably not, but be warned, Inter-net, sharing the most mundane, succinct (140 words or less) and clever-mostly-only-to-its-author soundbites from daily life is like a little drunky brainbuzz.
Kind of like writing a blog, but in baby steps.baby steps.baby steps.
TED TED, You're So Fine You Blow My Mind
The insane mind-meld that is the T.E.D. Conference happened last week in Monterey, California. I read about this event last year, but never managed to go back and listen to any of 2007's amazing talks that were posted online. For those wondering...
"TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from those three worlds. Since then its scope has become ever broader.
The annual conference now brings together the world's most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes)."
It costs $6,000 and takes a personal invitation to attend the actual conference, but luckily the public can view the posted talks for free. Yippee! I watched a few sessions at the end of last week because we were starting a new project at work and I was feeling a bit burned out and uninspired. All (or most) of the 2008 talks will be posted online at TEDtalks. Check them out. This year's conference sought to address such big questions as:
Who are we?
What is our place in the universe?
What is life?
Is beauty truth?
Will evil prevail?
How can we change the world?
How do we create?
What's out there?
What will tomorrow bring?
What stirs us?
How dare we be optimistic?
And the point?
Another interesting aspect of TED is the TED Prize, "a way of taking the inspiration, ideas and resources that are generated at TED and using them to make a difference. Although the winners receive a prize of $100,000 each, that's the least of what they get. The real prize is that they are granted a WISH. A wish to change the world." I definitely enjoyed reading what past TED prize winners (like Bono and Al Gore) did for/with their wishes.
Just a little Monday "boost" going out to anyone needing a catalyst to feel/think differently about our big world...
A Wii Problem
My first night at home without The Prof went surprisingly well. As I realized the last time he traveled for work, I have somehow learned to depend on his actions to trigger my daily routines. However, I managed to remember to brush my teeth last night AND even got up on time this morning. One bonus to getting out of bed? Using my new Origins products, a present from my friend Tara in gratitude of designing and programming her new web site. She's an amazing makeup artist (and person) -- check out her work at TadaYourself.com !
Anywway, when The Prof and I stopped into Best Buy a few nights ago to look at portable hard drives (and the MacAir!!!), I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the store was selling Wiis for only $249. Yes, I know that $249 isn't super cheap or maybe doesn't even deserve the preceeding "only", buuuut the price is significantly less than the one I had imagined ($400.) Could my dream of a Wii finally come true? Would I master Super Mario Galaxy and lose 10 pounds on my Wii Balance Board before The Prof's plane even took off from Orlando?
So far, Inter-net, my fanta-Wiis (like that?) go unfulfilled due to zero stock of Wiis at local Best Buy stores. I've got another five days until The Prof returns and at least four states with Best Buy stores in drivable range...don't count me down and out yet!
Until the day I see Wii, guess I'll just satiate my gaming appetite by watching some time lapse videos of people playing Wii. And yes, the man below is Wii-ing while holding a newborn. Bad-ass.
P-P-P-Pump It UP
I'm Believing The Hype about rumors that Steve Jobs will announce Apple's new subcompact computer tomorrow during his MacWorld keynote speech. Finally! I'm not sure about the name, though...MacBook Air? Hmm. Maybe I'll feel reassured after watching the keynote live on Apple.com...
Move Over, Michael Scott
Last Friday morning, shortly after arriving at the office, I suffered from my first migraine headache ever, the effects of which rendered me unable to focus the right quarter of my vision for a scary 15 minutes. A mere hour later, my boss nearly did actually blind me -- with shock -- when he gave my co-workers and I our Xmas presents:
i P H O N E S ! ! !
When I ripped the wrapping paper off my package and saw the photo on the box underneath, I actually started weeping. Then I hugged my boss, then I screamed, jumped up and down for a full minute, and finally exhaled. Now I know how people who win at Plinko , or the "Favorite Things" audience on Oprah, feel. What a ride, Inter-net. What a ride.
So I've basically been huddled up with my new "baby" for the past three days, programming in numbers, syncing playlists and learning about features. Oh, and digging out from the two snowstorms we had between Thursday ans Sunday. The first one produced what many local news outlets called "the worst commute in twenty years." Here are a few photos:
From our front door
From the street
The second storm hit late Saturday night and, since we spent a lot of time shoveling on Thursday, we only had to do two short snow removal stints on Sunday. I spent most of the day inside with my two other babies, doing cozy things like watching movies and eating homemade macaroni and cheese. I also finished cleaning the office and got a bunch of presents ready to mail. Overall, the weekend was somehow both relaxing and productive.
Now it's back to the grind for my final week in the office before I go home for an extended visit to PA for the holidays. Go figure, I'm actually feeling in the holiday spirit...wonder why?
Great Expectations
A big announcement, Inter-net:
We're expecting a new addition to the Blogorelli household.
MY MACBOOK PRO LAPTOP!!!
After literally one hundred hours of research on Apple insider sites and discussion boards over the past six months falied to yield any reliable hints that new pro-level laptops would release at MacWorld in January, I decided to take the plunge yesterday at the Apple store in Providence. The Prof and I worked a great deal, and although Bobby Crocker predicts three weeks as the over/under for me being disastified with my purchase, I feel pretty elated today.
Since I upgraded to the newly offered 250GB hard drive, the machine isn't scheduled to ship for two weeks. TWO WEEKS! A slight buzzkill, but I plan to use the time to prep Johnny 5's content for transfer, and decide on accessories...and a name, of course. Any suggestions?
Ferro Fluid, Thing of Beauty?
As our office prepares to program and launch a new web site, I've found myself doing a lot of tutorials lately, in an attempt to learn how to program in CSS. A programmer that we work with sent on the newly revamped Harvard Science site, which is not only well done in a design sense, but smartly utlizes CSS.
While browsing around the site, I noticed a feature on Felice Frankel, a research scientist at M.I.T., and senior research fellow at the Institute for Innovative Computing at Harvard who "use cameras, microscopes and other tools to display the beauty of science." Besides producing striking images like the one below, she also uses a Mac for her work (yea!) and has been featured in The New York Times.
I love the idea of using photography and design to intrigue the general public about science. The Apple article summarizes the concept perfectly:
"As one of the world’s leading science photographers, Felice Frankel combines a scholar’s knowledge of science, a photographer’s skill for visualization, and a designer’s intuitive sense of aesthetics."
Below, probably Frankel's most reproduced image, that of a 3-cm drop of ferrofluid on a glass slide:
Leopard On Yo Back
Finally, finally, finally Apple declared the Gold Master build (the definition of which only a total geek who reads Apple tech blogs like me would know) and announced today that Leopard, its new operating system, will be available for order on October 26. As a person who torments herself daily with the "should I/shouldn't I" debate regarding when to buy a new computer, I wonder if Leopard will finally spurn me to spend the money in my savings account and at long last purchase...the laptop.
I've read some rumors that Apple may also release updates to the MacBook or possibly Mac Pro lines in conjuction with Leopard's release. There is also supposedly an ultraportable Mac (10-11") in the works that may drop by March. Seriously, though, how long do I have to wait to pull the trigger?!? WAAAAH!
Even though I'm slightly weary of the learning curve that accompanies new operating systems, Leopard does tout some cool features:
- Google map integration with Address Book
- Stacked files inside the Dock to reduce desktop clutter
- Wikipedia in the Dictionary
- Scratched Disc Recovery in DVD Player locates and avoids scratched areas of discs
- Ability to connect to a home computer through any Mac that is connected to the internet (this one scares me a bit, but alas)
The feature I most look forward to is Alex, "new English male voice that uses advanced, patented Apple technologies to deliver natural breathing and intonation, even at fast speaking rates." Ooo la la. And of course, the new background options in Photo Booth. (See all *300* new features here.)
For those ready to bite that bulllet right now, you needn't worry about not getting Leopard -- Apple's Up-To-Date Program allows for free upgrades (with a $10 shipping charge.) Lil' Ki, now's the time to walk the WALK and become a Mac gal!
Purrrrrrr...
Green Eyed Monster
Well, lookee what I found sitting on the dining room table when I got home tonight:
Yes, that photo is of The Prof's new, yet-to-be-named 24" iMac. He bought it with his educational discount that runs out tomorrow, his last day as an official professor (though he'll still remain one for the sake of this blog.) I haven't had a chance to check the machine out yet, but I'll admit...I'm a bit envious. I almost purchased a MacBook Pro a few weeks ago, mostly to take advantage of an insane deal that Apple was offering on the Adobe Creative Suite 3 ($349 with purchase of a new computer), but I chickened out.
Those rumored new notebooks better make my heart sing, is all I'll say.
The Answer to Everything Is: iPhone
Several times over the past month or so, Cho and I have been in the middle of discussing a topic, requiring directions, or wondering the answer to some miscellaneous question. A pause ensues, and she says, "You know what we need right now?" I'll think, coming to my usual conclusions of: 1. laptop 2. alcohol. Both seem too easy, so I'll say, "What?"
She always replies: "An iPhone!"
I've never seen her so crazy for "hot" technology...perhaps the Church of Hype can save her soul yet?
Now, Cho and I and all the other late (or poor) adopters can send up a cheer, since Apple lowered the iPhone prices by $200! Which means that I can now buy the top of the line iPhone for less because I had patience. This is a lesson which I usually learn the hard way, but not this time -- HA!
So I told The Prof, "For Christmas, first, an iPhone...second, a Breville"... (because the way those things chop almonds is in-sane.) I think he might have been too preoccupied watching the preview of Tim Gunn's Guide To Style to hear me, but we'll see come December 25.
The entire iPod line received a little lunchtime lift in fact, and for the most part, have never looked better. Of course, any moron who'd buy the iPod Touch when s/he could get an iPhone for only $100 more should come to me for a swift, reprimanding smack.
There's a bunch of media coverage surrounding the iPods' update, but I'll sum up::
iPod Shuffle= unpredictable and small, like your grade school crush
iPod Classic= mid-size, sturdy, and reliable, takes you out for pizza after the movie date
iPod Touch= Buy an iPhone, dill
iPod Nano= choad
Grin and Wear It
Love voyeuristically scoping out street fashion and feeling less-than-inspired with your springtime wardrobe? Then scoot on over to the Wardrobe_Remix group on Flickr. This pool is a photographic goldmine for anyone who loves looking at clothing, people's quirkiness...or both!
I had to tear myself away at the end of lunch hour, but I'm pretty sure if one set the slideshow to, say, 1.5 second speed and checked out all 12,230 photos (as of 12:38 pm today), you'd recognize someone you knew. Seriously. Also, if you had some time to sort and be crafty, you could download a bunch of favorites for a "Look Book" and print it out with some photo software.
Happy Spring (dressing)!
"Just When I Thought I Was Out, They Pull Me Back In"
Rather un-notable, probably, except to me:
About six months ago, I started using Mozilla Firefox to load Typepad and write this blog. Mostly, my reason for the switch was some weird display problem in Safari (?) that made Blogorelli show up as gobblegook to me and a lot of Mac readers. The only problem being that using Foxfire made links so dang easy -- I need only press a button in the Typepad palette and -- BOOM -- link! However, I realized that the links led away from this blog.
So, as of today, I am reinstating links that will open a blank window to display any links in my posts. Go ahead, browse that link about Paris Hilton's drooping eyelid but stick around and read about me dressing my cat up in outfits...ok?
Gizmos are a Girl's Best Friend
A recent study by the Oxygen Network revealed what I've always suspected (about myself, at least): women like tech toys more than shoes. Apparently, we'd rather have a plasma tellie and top-of-the-line cellie than this season's designer pumps.
But what if the ladies could have both -- would the universe implode?
Nike, the shoe industry's Nelly (i.e. they duet with everyone, including a current collaboration with Cole Haan) and Apple are daring to give women shoes AND technology in the form of the new Nike+iPod Sport Kit. For $29, a user can "...transform your iPod nano into a personal workout coach with the Nike + iPod Sport Kit. This wireless sensor and receiver combination works exclusively with your Nike+ shoes and iPod nano to give you real-time feedback during workouts and let you track your performance on your Mac or PC."
Not that I need to know any more to impulsively run out (ha!) and buy an iPod nano, the Sport Kit and a pair of the "special" $149-$249 tennies that have the inner sole pocket to hold the sensor -- but here are some details : the Kit calibrates to the user's exercise goals and announces how the running/walking session is going every so often (in a male, female, or "no" voice(?). If you need a boost, hitting a button on the iPod launches a pre-designated "Power Song". Afterwards, the session's exercise data is loaded into your computer from the iPod to track progress.
As I said, I'm nearly at the mall right now, but The Dairy Queen actually managed to pre-early adopt on me, already bought a kit, and has been using it. Her take:
"…that nike + ipod running thing= who is your daddy?!? Usually, im lucky if I can get in a three mile run; last night I used it and ran 5.16, and burned 518 calories! Plus, the little dude comes on and tells me I'm running a nine minute mile and I love him. He motivates me...he tells me what a good job I'm doing...he has the same taste in music as me. (BLOGORELLI INTERJECTS: He sounds like good boyfriend material were he not a machine.) And the great news is I found a way to strap the sensor into my insole without having to buy another $100 pair of shoes!"
With my new sleek physique from the Nike + iPod "personal" training, I'm gonna look totally hot in all those fall shoes I'll be buying!
Wanted: HTML Monkey Boy
I've been sequestered away these past few days, trying not to get sauced at inappropriate events and working on production for the store. I ran into some coding issues where pages were "jumpy". After nearly ripping my hair out in frustration, someone came to my rescue with a few handy <td> tags and encouraging support. I pushed forward.
The hardest thing about being committed to finishing a project (especially a BIG project) started without a business plan or absolutely any foresight to the amount of work involved is sustaining the initial excitement. I feel like Wundercabinet and I are an old married couple hitting our Golden Anniversary. The butterflies are gone, but the commitment remains. Just call me ode Mrs. WC.
I'll get there, though...only 183 more pages to go!
(As I retreat back into the dark cave of coding, check out this great new site which profiles independent crafters...this week's feature is one of my current "crushes": boygirlparty !)
Bow-Wow-Whiten
Two recently noted products that are both terrifying yet irresistibly attractive to me: IonicWhite 21 Minute Teeth Whitening System and the Bow Lingual Dog Bark Translator.
After investing in hundreds of Crest Whitestrips, I can now move to the next level and whiten my teeth at home with IonicWhite 's scary-looking lighted mouthpiece and gels. How will the system make my teeth 2-6 shades whiter in only a few weeks of 21 minute sessions, hmmm? Well, "The gel contains silver ions which activate when exposed to the harmless blue led light. The silver ions cause the active bleaching ingredients to work faster and penetrate deeper into the tooth."
That sounds harmless enough, right? Plus, most of the Testimonials claim that "there is no pain associated with using SonicWhite." And — hello? I would be using something that is called "SONIC" to whiten my teeth. Apparently, the teeth appear scarily "transparent" during the light process, but hey, that's where I'm headed anyway at this pace.
A little less intimidating, perhaps, is the BowLingual dog bark translator. Originally sold only in Japan (shocker!) this collar/transmitter can "translate barks for more than 80 different dog breeds." And mutts needn't worry — "based on the dog's size and muzzle shape, the BowLingual Translator can be set to translate for ANY dog."
Doesn't hurt that the "walkie talkie" the human owner interacts with to find out if the canine is Needy, Happy, or Self-Assertive uses cute anime graphics. The BowLingual is a little too enabled for me, though, with its "Home Alone" feature that records the dog's barks throughout the day and lets you review them in a "Bow Wow Diary" when you return. A little insecure yourself? The "MBF" feature tells the owner what kind of friend s/he has been to Man's Best Friend based on reading from the emotional state in the dog's sounds while the two of you are interacting. Anyone feel a therapy session coming?
Of course, there is no MeowLingual in the works..probably because most felines silently judge and only a brainwave monitor could communicate how inept they feel humans act most of the time. Except BKP, naturally — she loves me unconditionally ALL of the time.
"I'm Feeling Lucky" (in Love?)
Now, in addition to finding a cell phone, cat chotckes, random celebrity gossip, and up-to-the-minute tooth whitening products online, I can Google for a new boyfriend. No, silly — not some useless blind stalking of Boston celebrity chef Ken Oringer (my latest "foodie" crush) — Google Romance!
Apparently, the beta site will help my lovelorn state because:
"When you think about it, love is just another search problem. And we’ve thought about it. A lot. Google Romance™ is our solution.
Google Romance is a place where you can post all types of romantic information and, using our Soulmate Search™, get back search results that could, in theory, include the love of your life. Then we'll send you both on a Contextual DateTM, which we'll pay for while delivering to you relevant ads that we and our advertising partners think will help produce the dating results you're looking for.
Swoon through technology...perhaps this will succeed for me in the way that eHarmony lamely failed? In particular, I loved the Google Romance Tour.
(Of course, the whole thing was just an April Fool's joke. Oh well, back to the prototype for my own personal speed dating service: Dumpster Dive Dating.)
{Click images to expand in a new window for complete viewing.}
Her Ringtone? "I Feel Pretty"
Since even children under the age of 10 can now own a mobile phone, naturally our society feels that pets deserve a cellie, too.
According to ShinyShiny, the PetsCell features:
"GPS (so you can track your pet), an owner call button (so someone can alert you he's been found if you manage to lose him despite the GPS), and a speaker phone that will automatically answer if you call from a recognised and approved phone number (which will stop your dog from falling prey to telemarketers when you're out of the house)."
However, everyone will note that the product is only slated to be released as bone-shaped, which indicates that the target market is canines...or cross-dressing cats (zing!) That's ok...because, like me, BKP always screens.
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(Oddly, both the PetsCell and the Wirefly Kids Cellie come with neck straps – unspoken hint or mere coincidence?)
Baby, It's Code Outside
And even more so for all the little iShuffles with no chubby fat to insulate their tiny flash memory insides! Luckily, the folks at iAttire (who brought iPod Halloween costumes to the world) have released their winter collection. Now your Shuffle, Pod, or Mini can be snugly in matching argyle hat/mittens or a red striped wool cap.
Bonus points for those who plan ahead for spring and snap up the Raspberry Beret. Plus, hey, buy three and they throw in a human-sized one (which would have been the perfect for that time when some of us happened upon "Purple Rayne," a Prince cover band, performing in the lobby of the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas.)
'Tis The Season
The holidays: about family, friends, and goodwill to all?, or greed, isolation and mass consumerism? Eh, who am I to take the high road, all things considered...
It's a Wonderful Internet
(click for pop-up detail of my favorite "page" in the story)
Give Me Everything I Want, and Nothing I Need, Except…
The other night, the (partial) Gang and I were sitting around drinking some seasonal ales and playing Stumpd!…a pub quiz game held at the Thirsty Scholar on Sundays and in various Boston locations on other days. I personally despise drinking at a pub having quiz night because I find it annoying to be forced to listen to psuedo-braniacs lamely "ooh" and "yea!" at their own shocking knowledge of the state with the "smallest biggest city" (Vermont), but since we were there and everyone else was into it, we registered and made a go.
Amazingly, The Secret Santas (our team) won THIRD PLACE! I have to admit, being the "genius" who knew that the Clintons' cat's name was Socks, thus allowing us to sleuth out that it was named after the philosopher Socrates, really got me lit...but not so much as if I had realized that the d.j. read the names of the teams out loud after every few rounds to do a score recap.
In retrospect, "Secret Santas" seemed like a lame choice, especially after one team actually called themselves "Speds." I may litter occasionally, but even *I* would never cross that far over the politically correct line of scrimmage. I would, however, go as far as calling our team, "I'm A Dillboy"…which I thought was pretty clever until Cho really "took it there" and suggested that next time we call ourselves "With Valtrex, I've Been Outbreak Free For Months." Genius! I added that, should our team have a Junior League equivalent, it would be called "Piggyback Rides".
Since the first and second place teams took the $30 gift certificate and XXL t-shirts, respectively, we were left with a free round of beers and discussion over the worst seasonal commercials.
Frankie Nacho voted for the jewelry commercials (Zales?) where the couple is in the airport and the guy suggests they "start Christmas early" because, as a universal human truth, being in an airport within seven days of Christmas means that the Fates will find you delayed and sitting on the germy hard-flat carpeting somewhere near a bathroom door...but definitely with any possible view of a monitor blocked by large cement pylons. Boy, was that a long sentence, or what?
I'm starting Christmas early right now, here by myself with a big sniffer of bourbon, but apparently this actor-man thought what the girl really needed was a stereotypical diamond bracelet that probably read "I Love You Forever" when she turned it sideways. Yawn. The best part about this nomination, however, was how Frankie re-enacted the girl when she pouts and says, "It doesn't seem very much like Christmas in here!" According to his portrayal, she was a 7-foot-tall trannie with stubble and gold lame heels.
Someone said the Bob's Discount Furniture ads where he and his ever-contant lady friend are marionettes (or was that the voice in my head?) Yes, puppets are creepy as hell most of the time, but Bob's commercials are ridiculous and scary ALL of the time. A complete bedroom set with mattress and box spring for $499...where's this stuff coming from, Allston? Disqualified.
I voted for the Victoria's Secret commerical with the "Carol of the Bells" playing in the background and containing an astounding total of three sentences uttered by over ten models. Luckily, the clever editors managed to get about 50 different bra and panty {shiver} sets in two minutes of ad time, not a one made of cotton or in any way opaque. The theme (and longest sentence?) "Give me everything I want...and nut-hing I need" (see, I wrote out the accented pronunciation of "nothing" because that German, man-looking one Giselle had the line and I wanted to be realistic.)
Echoing the nubile geniuses' sentiments, don't get me a Right Hand Ring. Not because I want it, but because if you do, I WILL get what I want by knocking you hard in the temple with said jewelry. And definitely DO get me the mysterious iShuffle case pictured below, because not only do I not want it, I don't even understand why a person would need to contort like the athletic model in the photos...like, the cord is gonna fall between a girl's breasts. It's called gravity, Santa.
Gifts for People Whose Kids Run Into Legs at the MarketBasket
Now, I don't claim to be "with it" when the topic turns to presents for children. I only know one child, Sir Ivan, and well...he's nearly a boy (in size, anyway.) But the other day, while completing my Friday post-work ritual of reading the retail circulars for upcoming Sunday sales, I noticed what I predict will be the "cool/tech" toy for people to buy their friends' kids: IZ!
This odd, alien-esque creature "is the ultimate fusion of music and toy with a personality of his own."
Eh?
Another source portray the toy as street: "What is IZ? It’s a hip hop interactive toy that creates and moves to it’s [six] own music. You push or twist the different parts of IZ and it creates a personal mix by picking a beat, rhythm and lead. The belly button controls seven beat tracks. The ears control 7 rhythms and 7 lead tracks. Your can control the tempo- speed up or slow down, or flick the flicker on his head to add a “scratch” to your tunes. The eyes move independently to the rhythm and lead tracks. IZ connects to your music source (any mp3 player) to play your tunes and you can add the above beats etc to the mix. IZ is poseable and can stand on any one of it’s three legs."
Whoa! Until that "three leg" part, I was pretty sure the description referred to Kelis. Still, odds are someone will figure out a dirty use for this thing (I'm betting green is corrupted first) and by next year the IZ will be serving time on W.A.T.C.H.'s ""10 Worst Toys" List.
If I knew someone that I wanted to drive insane through child gifting, I'd be heaving my $40 toward Zizzle Industries. As things stand, I gotta ask, "What the hell IZ the point of this thing?" or as Bobby more succintly put it: "My kid's gonna have a piece of string to play with...a piece of string and maybe a stick."
Here's to hoping it's a pointy one.
God Rest Ye Merry iiiPods
iPodLounge has released yet another comprehensive Buyer's Guide, this one holiday-themed, and including the nano and video models what I have started calling the "Prom Queen" of digital music players.
Being a loyal subject and complete accessory junkie when it comes to Wrigely (my Shuffle,) I looked through every page and checked out all "650 iPod accesories rated." Owners of any model should give a look...it's interesting (admittedly, in a sorta geeky way.) Be sure not to miss my two favorite features:
- The iPod "History Line" (2001-present)
- "A Super-Brief History of iPod Boxes and Pack-Ins (only for the extremists and designers)
Here are my top three Buyer's Guide highlights:
1. Marware's Santa Hat for the iPod Nano...because if something can have a costume, it should have a costume
2. Anything from Sumajin. They make the coolest and most unique cases/accessories I've ever seen.
3. And a likely buy: Macally's mTune cordless old school stereo headset allows the user plug in his/her iShuffle and rock out all cordless-like. It will change your life.
Of course, insiders know that "the" hottest iAccessory is still undergoing beta testing in the secret SOR underground laboratories: the iBand, modeled below (yes, Virginia, I do believe those ARE bread bag ties.)
More Cool Phones Kept from Me Because Verizon Sux Rotten Eggs
As I continue to loathe Verizon Wireless, their clunky, SIM card-less handsets, schizophrenic coverage and inept in-store representatives, cell phone producers rub my nose in the struggle by releasing a multitude of beautiful and advanced products to covet.
First, Elle announces its Glamphone, a "a sophisticatedly stylish mobile camera phone packed with an array of fantastic features." And, if the monogrammed hand/neck strap didn't give the obvious away, this female-geared phone's display turns into a mirror when not in use. Wait, did I just type "neck strap"? Why, yes I did...hey, people who mocked me for wearing my phone around my neck: EAT IT! Elle thinks I'm "high fashion." As such, I never want to hear another disparraging comment about my cel-lular tele-phone hang cord again.
Trailing the ROKR (erg, still can't really handle that name,) Nokia offers up the 3250,"a music phone with a twist." (From ShinyShiny)
"Twist the keypad round 180 degrees and you'll find the music player control keys, twist it back and you can use it like a normal phone again, twist it 90 degrees and you'll activate the camera…" Twist it 45 degrees counterclockwise 3 times and say "Bloody Mary" and it will give you a back massage and run you a hot bath.
Ok, so I added that last part...about the bath.
Finally, although I think that the Motorola Razr V3 is actually sort of large and pancake-like, its main attribute (the thinness) has started a pissing contest...and NEC steps up with the N900. At the size of a credit card and a width of less than a centimeter, it's like a dime pancake. or maybe one that looks like a Smurf, but, you know, SMALL. Pros: Tiny size, camera, color display. Cons: Audio output only with a headset, only available in China
Why Must You Taunt Me Like a Little Child?
Dear Mr. Steve Jobs,
Yesterday your company, Apple, introduced a new iPod AND the first cellular phone (in a triumverate with Cingular/Motorola) to use iTunes technology. Surely you must know how this affects both my insatiable gadget addiction and also my infinite hatred of my current cell phone (Samsung) and its provider (Verizon). Even as I type this, I feel a heated blush rising in my cheeks.
I ask you, what am I supposed to do with your news?
Not that you've ever read my carefully crafted blog, but had you, you would know that I recently purchased a Shuffle when my iPod 15gb had some performance anxiety. Luckily, the iPod Nano is an upgrade to the Mini line NOT the Shuffle line. So at least I'm not one of thoe arses who is now gonna be carrying around the "archaeic" and metallic-shelled "Early Generation" Mini. Hee hee.
As for the cell phone, it's called the ROKR...is that supposed to be clever in some post-modern heavy metal reference sort of way? It's not. What were you thinking? But you know that when my Verizon contract is up and I am finally released from the bonds of their non-GSM technology, I'll buy one. So try and make it a little better, smaller, and maybe able to hold more than 100 songs before the end of August 2006, k?
And work on that name, too...may I suggest just changing the name to a graphic a la Prince and using the universal sign for "rock it"? (see cheesedick below demonstrating this gesture.)
Sincerely,
Ms. Blogorelli
Official Apple product page for the Nano
The ROKR (!) via Cingular
Tech Whoredom: The Saga Continues
Three weeks ago, my iPod ("The Machine Gun Rocks", to call it by name) started acting a little...er...spotty. Response time to the click wheel was slow and when the pod did work, it usually just quickly scrolled through most of my 2,000+ song library and pick a song it felt was more appropriate than my choice. Finally, two weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk at work when I heard a beeping noise coming from below the tabletop. The beeping started slow, then got progressively faster until it reached a fevered pitch.
"What's that beeping?" my boss asked, looking up (we have an 'open concept' office space.)
I looked under my desk. There, plugged in to my Mac, was the iPod. I got closed. The beeping got louder.
"I think it's my iPod!" I proclaimed in horror.
"Whooooa. I've never heard any of them make an AUDIBLE noise before," he replied.
Within a minute, it was all over. The beeping stopped. I looked down at the blank display window. I reached out my finger -- gingerly -- and stroked the wheel. No response! I gasped softly in terror.
The Machine Gun was rocking no more.
That night, after a few glasses of wine and a quick check of the credit card balance, I went online to the Apple store and saw that they were selling refurbed 1G ipod Shuffles for $99. They came with one year warranties (same as new Shuffles.) I immediately bought one -- and then called my dad and asked him to send me a check for the amount. I mean, a girl has to lean sometimes.
The new player arrived late last week. I gave it a kicky name ("La Musique de la Mitrailleuse"), which means "Machine Gun's Music" in French. Despite learning the hard way that the keyboard USB port actually can't charge the battery on these little kickers because it is not a "power port", I've really enjoyed the Shuffle thus far. I adore my music libary anyway, and now I can only listen the 240 songs that make up its most exquisite cross-section.
Of course, being complete tech addict, I am shopping around for "the right" case. See below...an option for the harsh New England winter! Another great resource for anyone with *any* iPod is the iLounge's iPod Back-To-School Guide. There are all kinds of tips and tricks for pimpin' out your personal player, as well as mucho accessories.
Naturally, immediately after receiving my Shuffle, the Machine Gun started rocking again. Call it a case of sibling rivalry. So now I have both, and I love each in its own way, which is fine with me...because an accepted part of Tech Whoredom is multiple partners.
A Mighty Mouse (in bed)
Maybe it's just me (and probably, it IS) but is anyone else sensing a sort of odd "sex toy" overtone to Apple's marketing of its new Mighty Mouse?
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"...lets you move anywhere inside a document, without lifting a finger. And with touch-sensitive technology concealed under the seamless top shell, you get the programability of a four-button mouse in a single-button design. Click, roll, squeeze and scroll..."
(yea, baby. i don't even have to lift a finger? this sounds like my ideal scenario.)
"Spry and Mighty...
...Use it any way you work: Stick with single-button simplicity or click with multibutton efficiency."
(woo hoo. no tech-agra needed!)
"Get Around...
Time is round. Space is curved...Plenty of applications require you to do more than scroll up and down...Explore the farthest reaches of your files...with one hand tied behind your back (or holding a cup of coffee or typing). Mighty Mouse gives you room to roam."
(exactly. space is curved. tampon manufacturers seemed to have picked up on this marketing angle; why not apply it to computer accessories?)
"You’ll Really Click...
Touch-sensitive technology...detect[s] where you’re clicking...But the innovation doesn’t end there...force-sensing buttons on either side of Mighty Mouse that let you squeeze the mouse between your thumb and finger, activating Mac OS X Tiger Dashboard, Exposé or a whole host of other, customizable features — instantly."
(hmm. i usually only hope to 'clicking' with a potential date, but now i can extend my compatibility issues to my computer? excellent. and instantly too? perfect, because we all know that i possess the patience of a toddler.)
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I mean, I suppose all of those PC "multi-button" addicts out there are hot&bothered, but I'm lukewarm. I guess that I'm more of a simple, one button gal. Also, matte white? How do you clean that after an intense programming session? Heh heh...
Pass.
File Under: Better than Paxil
From the geni (can I use that as a plural? Oh well, what the hell) at BluDot comes this TOTALLY mesmorizing Desktop Clock
I don't even want to think about the research, collection or programming needed to produce this fine diversion composed completely out of found typography, but I do know that it kept me from falling asleep yesterday while working on a dull visual archiving project.
Don't Mockia Me
Although I'm always on the prowl for the newest and freshest mobile technology, most of which will either not be imported to the U.S. market or never carried by Verizon Wireless, I must admit that a part of me (probably the part that likes to trash pick) misses the old school rotary phone. I remember many cozy evenings chatting with my grandmas on my Mickey Mouse rotary phone (as a young girl) or the teenage gossip I passed on through my pink neon tube phone that played an early 90s electronica version of "Fur Elise" when the Hold button was pressed.
But you just knew that it wouldn't be long before some savvy techsters figured out a way to commercialize on the sad need of people in my generation to wax rotary sentimental.
As such, the fine people at Mockia.com offer cellular-compatible rotary phones to the late twenties hipster set. Because, let's face it, we all know that's who's buying these ringy-dingers.
Based on an original (gasp!) idea by Nicolas Roope, Mockia offers phones from the 50s through the 80s (although I don't know who wants the Brickia model, which is literally the size of a real brick. If you're willing to pay £29 + shipping for one of these ancient Motorolas, email me...I think my dad has one and we can negotiate.) They have cute names like the Deskias and Pockias and are nice vintage specimens.
Since I refuse to pay ridiculous overseas shipping on any vintage items other than non-functioning typewriters, I decided to do some research and figure out if there is a way to convert a choice rotary thrift store find into one of these cellular-adaptable handsets.
From my research, adapting a cell phone to the rotary models involves merely buying a 2.5mm plug (see second photo below.) According to a variety of sites, the "2.5mm plug...works with many cell phones and cordless phones. If your cellphone does not have a 2.5mm jack, you'll need to get an adapter."
The Mockia site gives a lot of info about adapters here, so check it out and use their links to find adapters (3rd photo below) for your specific cell phone, which will then plug into the 2.5mm plug.
Then -- Late Twenties Hipsters -- rotary away!
(note: if anyone actually attempts or has attempted this before I find a rotary phone and get a chance to test it out myself, send an email or post a comment -- thanks!)
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